When the lights shone upon me, my inner being woke up and suddenly i realised that you are no longer by my side. Gone were the days where you would flash me a smile and bashfully say you miss me... or putting your arms around my shoulder, saying proudly that i belong to you only.
Baby, search my heart..look into my eyes, feel the hurt in my heart, feel the longing in my eyes.. why did you promise me forever, if it wasn't meant to be? why did you just walk out of my life and leave all the memories to me? How could you make me bear all the pain of this unrequitted love? The longing is so overwhelming and the missing so strong...
A poem i wrote about the feelings and emotions of someone who just fell out of love and misses someone deeply. The questions of why must it happen, how did it turn out this way, what went wrong and the many mixed feelings of disppointments, hurts and loneliness are the after effects of a break up between a couple once in love.
Some common relational challenges most couples face:
1) disassociation.
2) Change and differences in character.
3) Poor communication skills.
4) Deception.
5) Unrealistic expectations.
6) Lack of trust.
According to Knapp Model of Relational Development, there are 10 stages in two phases to describe the progression and development of relationships.
Based on the poem above,its about stages 6-10 : coming apart.
It talks about firstly, differentiating, circumscribing,then stagnation steps in, followed by avoiding and eventually, terminating.
The stages are not linear and due to many reasons, it may regress to a previous stage or skip stages.
Therefore,it does not neccessarily follow a particular order.
6 comments:
mmm . Not too sure about what Knapp Model of Relational Development is really about , but I do agree with what the author says about the problems faced by a couple . In fact if we look closely at the challenges that the writer has posted in her entry , we can see that most of challenges actually are related to the issue of communication between the two parties in a relationship .
A very common reason as to why couples break up is probably that one party feels that he or she can no longer communicate with the other party as communication is the key to making or breaking a relationship .
"It takes two hands to clap", simple theory. In a relationship, one can never ALWAYS please another forever, but they can please EACH other.
What's the different?
When you are the one that keeps on pleasing your partner, this relationship already doom to fail!
Communication is important but I feel action speaks louder than word (words are cheap ^^ ). You may be saying this but doing another, after all being in a relationship isn't all about theory, but it's all about are you willing to make that sacrificial commitment?
Yes, to enjoy a heaven on earth relationship with the one you love, one needs to know how to give and take in appropriate situations. Communicating with each other often, to sort out differences is something very neccessary too.
wow wow.. im totally blown away by the poem you wrote.
well, i cant explain much about the reasons why people break up, but communication definitely plays a huge role in this. perhaps the two hadn't been communicating well enough, thus leading to a lack of trust?
i agree with what jo said about giving and taking. we need a balance in giving and taking also. dont give too much, neither do you give too little. remember that balance is the key of life. =) *laughs* and the part about words are cheap, maybe a little. but brings me to the thought of the five love languages.
#1 Physical Touch
Loves to receive hugs, or a pat on the back. It is a form of non-verbal communication.
#2 Quality Time
Loves to spend time with loved ones. It is mixture of verbal and non-verbal communication
#3 Acts of service
Loves to be helped with their work. It is a form of non-verbal communication.
#4 Words of Affirmation (words are not cheap afterall)
Loves to be affirmed, being recognised for their efforts. This is definitely verbal..
#5 Giving of gifts
Loves to receive gifts. This can be verbal and non-verbal communication.
The Five Love Languages shows that people give and receive love in different ways. For e.g., I would love to receive physical touch and quality time. But when I shower love, it all have to depend on the person i'm showering love to. It all boils down to communication. :] enough said, i guess.
-pearlysim-
Great analogy of the five love languages all require communication as a medium/channel to get the message across. Eg. physical touch and acts of service are forms of actions that result from feelings. Gift giving and words of affirmation would be a spoken form or material form of transmitting messages across to your loved one.
Hi.. The challenges that you talked about. I agree with it so much.. Ur post shows that you really know a lot about interpersonal communication. How true, without communication, a relationship can never last. And it won't stay long.
I agree with your whole entire post so much. You are great! Cheers!
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